This time, the company brought our whole family down for the interview – a very  good sign.  This interview was a couple of hours long, with six people involved simultaneously.  I felt like I nailed it.  I was comfortable, confident, and just felt in control of the room.  I left feeling like it was in the bag, and that they simply ought to hire me.

A few days later I got an email saying that the position had been put on hold, and that they would keep me informed.  This seemed like another good sign.  They could have told me they were considering other candidates, but they did not.  So I waited.

A few days before Christmas I got a call, informing me that I was being offered the job.  I was very excited about this.  They were sending me a packet by Fedex that would provide all the details.  When the package came, I was a tad disappointed.  The relocation assistance was the most generous I had ever seen, and short of buying my house was about as good as I could imagine.  I was mostly disappointed in how much the employees had to pay for insurance – much more than my current employer.  When I compared the cost of living, and the cost of insurance, this new job offer would only be about $2,0000.00 more per year.  And with all the cost and risk of selling a house and changing states, I was about to do the unthinkable – turn this offer down.  The thought broke my heart.  I did the only thing I think I could – I made a counter offer.

I laid out the comparison, and my concerns.  I asked for 10K more than they offered.  They came back with 5K more, along with a 5K signing bonus, and one month salary as an additional benefit to cover expenses of moving (this was money we could use as we please, not a reimbursement).  In addition to the relocation already offered, this seemed pretty good.

I prayed about this opportunity, but did not get very far.  As soon as I began praying, I was filled with unmistakable positive feelings of blessing, gratitude, approval, etc.  I knew this was the one.  Over the next couple of days a prayed many times seeking confirmation of what I had previously felt.  I have never experienced anything like this.  Prayer-answer, prayer-answer, prayer-answer,…  My wife and I brought this to my children in the most serious family meetings we have ever had.  I told them about the offer, and what it would mean.  And I told them about my prayers, and the answers I felt that I had received.  The maturity and support from my children was touching.  I love my family with my whole heart, and I would not do this without their support.  We allowed everyone to share their feelings on the matter.  We were going to take it.

After accepting the offer I went to our ward building to do some more praying.  I decided that I would walk around the church as I prayed.  I started out simple, ‘Heavenly Father, I found another job..’.  My body was filled with intense feelings like before, but so strong that my body shook with sobs.  I knew I was going to fall, so I walked into the grass and fell on my hands and knees.  I wept as I accepted and rejoiced in this new opportunity.  After about 30 seconds I decided that my posture was a bit undignified, so I got up and started walking again.  I began to think of my wife and children, and what a support they had been through this long process and I began to weep again.

While I feel that I had been given clear answers to prayers about this – like never before, I still had my worries.  Mostly the anxiety was about selling our home in a small town in Michigan.  Prayers and blessings were given with similar positive feelings.  I still worry, but that is my nature.  Sometimes I feel that I have had enough faith to get the answers in this case, but not enough faith to be fully comforted by those answers.  I still have much to learn.

At the time of this post, I gave my two weeks notice at my current job.  I start my new job in a couple of weeks.  I know that not everything will be easy or perfect, but I do feel that I have been lead to this decision.   My hope is that I can now be in a better position to meet my family’s needs as my boys approach missions and college, and that I can make some meaningful progress during the next stage of my career.  I also hope that all of those who have been in similar or worse situation than I have been in, can find better opportunities for themselves.

For me, the search and interview process took nearly two years to generate a job offer.  During this time I had over a hundred screening interviews, dozens of phone interviews and several face-to-face interviews, without a single offer of employment.  How glad I am that I had a job during this difficult economic time!  Even so, this time was a dark time for me.  I felt un-promotable and un-hirable.  My current company did not seem to want me, and nobody else seemed to either.

The good news was my resume was stirring up interviews, the bad news was the interviews were not resulting in offers.  I felt like they liked my resume and hated me.  In reality, the economy was down, and companies may have been willing to interview by hesitant to hire.  But I also needed to admit something to myself.  I was really bad at job interviews.

At this point I would like to put in a plug for employment specialists at the ward, stake and regional levels.  These people are very helpful from my experience, and you can get good advice on resumes, interviewing, and job searching from these good folks.

Anyway, I had problems giving good interviews.  One problem is that I am extremely modest.  I have a difficult time bragging about myself and my accomplishments.  Unfortunately, in a competitive job market you may need to be ‘over the top’ in your bragging in a believable way to stand a chance.  In addition to this, I am a very calm, thoughtful person.  I have a slow and deliberate way of speaking.  I care much more about what I say than how I say it.  If I go about the interview this way, the HR rep will look at my facial expressions and body language, and hear the tone of my voice, and wonder if I want this job or not.  They seem to expect someone who is sincerely a cheerleader, used car salesman, and game show host all rolled into one.  This is very difficult for me to try and pull off.

With practice over time, and with some good advice, I did get better at interviewing.  But still no offers, and I was getting close to being two years into the effort.

I had a few close calls with great companies, with good jobs available that seemed like an ideal fit for me.  These opportunities were not in the location I wanted, but two out of three isn’t bad.  I had what I felt were great interviews for these positions.  I fell in love with the companies, and was anticipating job offers from them that I would gladly accept.  Neither one of these ended with a job offer.  I was crushed.  I had poured my soul out to these companies with all I had.  If I could not get an offer from these, perhaps I would never get one.

I have a place where I go to be alone and pray.  It is at some soccer fields near my home.  After these disappointments, I went there and prayed.  I am not like Job I guess.  I prayed with tears of anger and frustration.  ‘I wanted this one Heavenly Father’, I said through clenched teeth.  What should I do?  I had not received any specific guidance at all, and I was drained.  After my prayer I just sat and looked around.  I looked at a nearby tree for a while, and felt the words, ‘for now, you need to grow where you are, like that tree’.  I felt this was real communication.  It was not terribly satisfying, but it was something.

After another disappointing rejection that I was hopeful for, I went back to my spot, and said another frustrated prayer.  After praying I sat and looked around again.  I saw some kids flying a kite.  The younger brother ran the kite into a tree, and got it stuck.  The older brother came along and helped him get it out.  Words came to my mind saying, ‘Your kite is stuck in a tree also, I can help you get it out’.  My anger softened, and I was hopeful.  A couple of weeks later this company called me back in.  They had another position they wanted to talk to me about.

My job search efforts consisted of two primary approaches.  One approach was to network with old college friends and former coworkers, and the other approach was putting my resume up on sites like Monster.

The good news was that these efforts resulted in quite a few interviews.  I did not have very many close friends who worked at places that hire engineers, but contacting those that did resulted in a surprisingly high percentage of leads.  This was a fairly efficient way to find job opportunities and get some interviews.  I just wish I had more engineering friends.  Monster helped generate lots of opportunities as well.  Every time I updated my resume my phone would start ringing, and emails would come in.  Mostly these were recruiters, but sometimes companies would contact me as well.  Sites like monster will also let you set up criteria for your search and send you email alerts for job opportunities.  I was gratified that even during a slow economy, my resume and few contacts were generating quite a bit of interest.

When interview opportunities would come up, I would always pray about them.  Yet, at this point in the process I was a bit disappointed in what I felt was a lack of specific answers.  While I did have a good general feeling about what I was doing, no specifics were coming at all.  It seemed like all the specific decisions were up to me.  I would sometimes speculate on why that was.  Does God not know the future in every detail?  Does the agency of the people making the decisions prevent specifics from being known?  Was I supposed to go through some of this process on my own?

Well, the search was generating lots of interviews, that was good.  But I did sometimes feel like I was spinning my wheels.  There just are not very many good mechanical engineering jobs in the mountain time zone, you often do not know what the offer would be until it comes, and fit is sometimes hard to know from the outside.  It sure would be nice if God would just tell me the future in specific details.  But prayer does not seem to work that way for me.  I felt lead in a very vague, subtle and general way.

I do not wish to ‘burn bridges’ in the least, so I will avoid names of people and companies, as well as details I feel are irrelevant.  I mostly want to present the basic circumstances from my perspective as a background to the religious experiences – which for these posts, will be the real point.  I would welcome comments, and hope that my experiences might help someone else.

For about 15 years, I worked for a company that I mostly liked.  It provided for the basic needs of my family, provided interesting things to do, and had good people to work with.  I generally and genuinely liked what I did.  The company was a medium-small family-owned company, and was very successful, making the family quite wealthy and the company quite stable.  The pay was a little low, and the hours were a little long, but when you mostly enjoy the environment and the work, it was not bad.  My engineering leaders seemed to think quite highly of me, and I felt valued in spite of the somewhat low pay.

Then the founder died.  A son of the founder was the president of the company at the time, and somehow got ‘voted out’.  I do not know the details of this, only the results.  The results were that three of the grandsons took over the leadership of the company.   I suppose the politics of a family business can be complicated.

With this change of leadership came a change in values which became quite glaring over time.  I would like to simply sum this up as the company making what I felt was a fatal shift from leaders to managers.  This shift of values and emphasis had a negative impact on my career, and the career of many others.  A few prominent people were banished to lower roles, a few very talented, educated, experienced folks were fired.  And all of this happened during the economic problems that the world is still trying to climb out of.

I was removed from the R&D group, and placed in more of a process role under the supervision of a middle-manager.  This felt like a demotion of a couple of levels, and although it did not result in a decrease in salary, it did come with a decrease in status, reputation, and the scale of projects and work.  When this was told to me, I went home for the rest of the day and sent out resumes.  This served as a last straw, even though other straws came after.  I knew that if things did not change and improve for me, it was only a matter of time before I would quit.  When I went back to work, I let several supervisors and company leaders know of my disappointment, and that if things did not get better for me I would be looking for another job.

The company hired an engineer from outside, and put him in the R&D group, knowing that I was upset about being moved out of it.  They did this without advertising the position internally.  I was furious.  This engineer quit two weeks later.  This time, they promoted an engineer from within to that position, but it was not me.  I was disappointed.  A sales engineer position became available, and I applied for it.  They chose to promote a man from the shop floor for this instead of me.  I was embarrassed.  They created the position of Director of Engineering, and promoted a man with no education or experience in engineering at all.  I was insulted.  The straws kept adding up, and the job search was on in earnest.

During this time I turned to fasting and prayer.  There was more at stake than my disappointments at work.  I had a wife and children to worry about.  There is more to life than one’s career.  Was searching for a job the right thing to do?  Was I letting my ego get the best of me, or was I following the spirit?  I tried to seek God’s guidance in what I should do.  I tried to remove my personal feelings from the situation.  The result was a subtle feeling that it was time to look.  I interpreted this as coming from the spirit.

This was interesting to me because I was thinking about how much I liked the depiction of Jesus in this sketch.  Sure, there were parts that were not reverent, but I thought is was not so bad.  I would like to list what I liked and did not like about how Christ was depicted in the sketch:

Liked

1 – A flesh and bone Jesus of the same image as man.  We worship a resurrected being after all.  This was not some mysterious mist or substance (or non-substance).  This was an embodied flesh and bone being.

2 – Jesus was interested in the personal lives of mankind.  He was an active participant in peoples lives.  He was answering prayers, and helping out.

3 – He was progressing in time with the rest of us.  The future was not absolutely known.

4 – He loved people – even Tebow.

5 – He recognized Mormonism as being true.

6 – He referenced ‘dad’, or Heavenly Father as a separate being.

Did Not Like:

1 – Not a glorified being.  He should have been gleaming or something.

2 – A bit irreverent and informal for my taste.  But hey, it’s a comedy sketch.

3 – He prays to Matt Prader (the kicker)?  I could have done without that line.

4 – He didn’t love Belichick as evidenced by the devil sign..  Even Belichick is loved by Jesus.

5 – Socks with sandals.

So, what did you think about how Jesus was depicted?

What I mostly disagree with is the idea of changing the theology in order to have a group of people ‘exalted’, rather than changing people through repentance and atonement to be exalted.

In order to express my discomfort in this, I thought I might try to generalize what I see as the strategy employed, and perhaps suggest some extreme examples to make the point.  One will notice the title of this post with a blank after the ‘Post’.  In a generalized strategy – following Petrey’s template – one can simply fill in the blank with the opposite of any group you wish to be an advocate for.   While I say ‘simply’ I do not mean to reduce the amount of effort it will take to pull something like this off.  You will not be able to just throw this together if you want it to be persuasive.  This effort is what makes Petrey’s work so impressive.

The strategy seems to follow three steps:

Step 1 – You need to show that God himself has something in common with the group you are advocating for.  In Petrey’s article he makes premortal life, eternal life, and God himself largely genderless and asexual.  He uses examples like the creation and the resurrection as creative, yet asexual, acts presumably executed by groups of men.  Thus he clears the way for sealed and exalted homosexuals.  And since heaven is now basically genderless and asexual it shouldn’t really make much difference.  This is brilliant.

To suggest an absurd example to express the force of my worry, what if someone wanted to advocate for sealing and exalting serial killers.  One could point out that God is responsible for all those deaths during Noah’s day as an example.  Thus clearing the way for exalted mass murderers as mass murderers.  I do not choose this example to equate homosexuals with mass murderers, only to show my discomfort for the strategy.  I wanted to choose as extreme and absurd an example as I could think of.

Step 2 – Find some symbolism or way of thinking about certain ordinances that aligns with your preferred group.  This may be best done historically, since that may grant some advantages of being far removed from the present.  Ordinances are important and powerful things, and if you can wiggle your way into them it can be very effective.

One example of this may be one who wants to reclaim contemporary polygamists, and seal and exalt them as contemporary polygamists.  One could easily point to prior teachings and understandings to make this case.  They could also point to widowers who could be sealed to another spouse.  This could be used to move toward a post-monogamist Mormon theology if you wish.

Step 3 – Make the case that current church leaders are out of touch and guilty of pre-critical thinking.  Make an appeal to modern scholarship that is sympathetic to your cause.  This may take some time and effort, but chances are good that if you look hard enough, you will be able to find what you seek.   This has the further advantage of making anyone who disagrees with you seem out-of-touch, ignorant, and stupid.

I think the example that Petrey provides is a good one – that of modern gender studies.  This way you can put modern scholarship up against modern ‘revelation’ (or guides).   This is probably good form for most progressive theological ideas.

To me, the real question is not whether or not we can change a theology in such a way as to seal and exalt whomever we prefer, but whether or not we should.

- Conference champions from every conference get an automatic entry (11 teams).

- The top five teams, after removing conference champions also get a place (5 teams), making 16 teams in all.

- Teams will be seated 1-16, with 1 playing 16 and so forth.  The higher seated team will host the first round game.

- All subsequent rounds will be neutral site bowl games, with pairings selected by a bowl committee.

For this year, the automatic spots for conference champions would go to:

Clemson – ACC
West Virginia – Big East
Wisconsin – Big 10
Oklahoma State – Big 12
Southern Missisippi – CUSA
Northern Illinois – MAC
TCU – MWC
Oregon – PAC 12
LSU – SEC
Arkansas State – Sun Belt
Louisiana Tech – WAC

and the at-large spots would go to:

Alabama
Stanford
Arkansas
Boise State
Kansas State

Making a few assumptions, the pairings would be:

LSU/La Tech
Kansas State/Wisconsin
Oregon/Southern Miss.
Stanford/West Virginia
Oklahoma State/Norther Illimois
Arkansas/Clemson
Boise State/TCU
Alabama/Arkansas State

Some interesting things to note – Neither Michigan nor Virginia Tech would even make this field, in spite of getting BCS bowl games this year!!  The Big 10 would not get a single home game, and unless they pulled off a road upset, would not have any teams in the final 8.  BYU would have to be one of the top 5 teams after conference champions are removed, to make the field.

Possible second round bowl games would be:

Rose bowl – Stanford/Oregon (Since no Big 10 team would advance)
Orange bowl – Arkansa/Alabama
Sugar bowl – Kansas State/Oklahoma State
Fiesta bowl – LSU/Boise State

Discuss if you like. (Note.  Updates added for accuracy after original post).

Pros

Public Speaking.  Dale Carnegie felt that public speaking was a fundamental skill for leadership and human relations.  The leadership courses he organized center around public speaking.  The LDS church provides many opportunities for its members to practice public speaking – whether it is giving talks in our worship services, teaching lessons, serving on committees, etc., we Mormons have some good opportunities here.  Definite plus.

Callings.  There are a lot of presidents in this church.  There are all kinds of classes, programs, quorums, etc., that all have their presidents, councilors,  and secretaries.  Many members have the opportunity to lead small groups of people.  These efforts will include planning meetings, having agendas, making assignments, communicating, and working and serving other people.  Definite plus.

Motivating others.  Working in a volunteer church or organization involves some pure leadership.  Since there is no pay, and no promotions (wink, wink), one must rely on other sources of motivation.  Can you get people motivated to do home teaching, missionary work, temple work, service projects, when there is no financial incentive to do so?  Sure, testimony and the spirit are at work at this as well, but a leader that can motivate without financial incentives behind her is something special.  Potential plus.

General People Skills.  We are a social group in a lot of ways.  Participating in the Mormon church gives one the opportunity to listen to others, help solve personal/family problems, show concern and understanding for others.  Definite plus.

Cons

Chain of Command.  At local levels, I would suggest that the church is more managed than it is lead.  Do what you are told and follow the manual is a clear message.  We should not be questioning our leaders, ignoring policies, or making waves.  We have grown up to rely on structure, instructions and presiding authority.  Again, this seems more like management by the numbers rather than leadership.  Possible negative.

Black and white thinking.  From my experience there are many Mormons who see things in black or white/right or wrong.  Many of us tend to make everything a moral issue.  I would think that this might hamper our ability to negotiate and compromise with others.  I know there are exceptions to this, but I think this would describe many of us.  Definite con.

Lack of Ambition.  I am not talking about work ethic here, I am talking about the desire to be in charge of others.  I think the church may do more to promote good followers rather than good leaders.  Many of us have seen up close what it is like to be the bishop or the president of some organization.  We have seen that these positions are often not what they are cracked up to be, and result in a lot of headaches.  And since many of us feel we should not seek out leadership callings in church, perhaps we should not seek out leadership opportunities at work either.  We might expect to wait for the leadership calling to come our way, other that go out and get it.

So what think ye about the pros and cons of leadership skills one gets from LDS culture?