Trials of Single Adults

Once upon a time I was able to catch a brief glimpse as to what life may be like for a Single Adult in the church.

Where I live the Stake Center is about a 1 hour drive away. During Stake Conference it is common to have a Priesthood Leadership meeting at 4 pm, have a break until 7 pm, and then have the adult session of conference until 9 pm. Often in our ward a group of men that are going to attend the first meeting will drive up together. And our wives will come up and meet us at the Stake Center at 6. Then husbands and wives will go out to dinner somewhere and be back at the Stake Center at 7.

On this occasion my wife was not going to come up, and so I was going to be on my own all night, but I still was part of the carpool going up. Ironically the Leadership meeting was about meeting the needs of Single Adults in the Stake. A pretty good meeting as I recall. When the meeting was over, all the men from my ward went out of the chapel, met their wife, and went out quickly to eat, leaving me all alone without a ride at the Stake Center. Nobody even offered me a ride somewhere.

I was not angry at all. I may have done the same thing. I chuckled at the situation. Here I had just had instruction on meeting Single Adult needs, and then I was placed in what I would imagine to be a typical Single Adult situation. So a sat in the chapel, pondered the messages that had been given, read my scriptures for a while, and went hungry. Nobody even said a word to me. I caught a ride with one of the couples, deciding I might need to be more proactive if I wanted a ride home. Again not a word about dinner was said.

I hope that I can be more aware of the Single Adults around me in the church and be a little more open with my friendship and include them when I can.

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4 Responses to “Trials of Single Adults”


  1. 1 D-Train December 23, 2005 at 1:52 am

    Eric, good job! You’re a regular ethnographer!

    I can see how this can morph into an activity issue real quickly. If people are looking for a social life at church, the family ward can be a family world (funny, huh?). What did the experience teach you about what you can do?

  2. 2 Eric Nielson December 23, 2005 at 7:25 am

    I need to do a better job of extending friendship and including single adults in my personal and church life. If I am invloved in planning activities in the church I need to keep them in mind. This is not very natural for me but it would help me be more christ like.

    Thank you for your kind words.

  3. 3 unknown December 23, 2005 at 11:32 am

    As a recently re-activated single adult, I recognized from the beginning that I could not look to the church or my ward for any type of social life. My social life is definitely separate with many non-LDS friends.

    If an LDS single adult looks for a social life in the church, they will be very disappointed. It is sad to say but that’s the way it is.

  4. 4 Eric Nielson December 23, 2005 at 12:43 pm

    Unknown:

    Unfortunately you may be right. This may be more true the further you get form Utah. Where I am in Michigan there are very few single adults.


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