Um, God? It’s Golf Season Again.

Heavenly Father,

Could you please help me find my golf ball?  I know it is around here somewhere.  I’ve looked everywhere, and it is time to either find the ball, or take a penalty stroke and a drop.  Could you PLEASE help me find the ball?

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I say about 795 prayers like the one above every summer.  I find that they ‘work’ about half the time.  By ‘work’ I mean that after I say such a prayer, I find the ball.  I have never received an answer to these prayers like, ‘The ball is behind the pine tree on the left’, or, ‘I know where the ball is, but I am not telling you’.

When I do find the ball, I always thank God for helping me find it.  You know, just in case.  And when I don’t find the ball, I never blame God for not helping me.  I just take my stroke, drop a new ball, and play on.

I’m not sure what this means about prayer, God, or myself.  But I still like golf – no matter how many golf balls I go through every summer.

8 Responses to “Um, God? It’s Golf Season Again.”

  1. 1 Craig W. April 22, 2009 at 2:10 am

    My younger brother considers a round of golf to be successful if he finishes with more golf balls than he started with.

  2. 2 Tom April 22, 2009 at 6:58 am

    You could always do what I do: drop another ball and don’t take the penalty. I rationalize it by telling myself that the only reason the pros never lose a ball is that they play on well-groomed courses with spectators everywhere and if I had spectators everywhere I wouldn’t lose any either. Also, I’m usually playing with guys who suck as bad as I do and we all agree that Mulligans are cool and penalty strokes don’t count.

  3. 3 Tom April 22, 2009 at 6:59 am

    We do count penalties when we go in the water or out of bounds, however, so we’re not total barbarians.

  4. 4 Eric Nielson April 22, 2009 at 7:02 am


    I think your brother is stealing my balls!


    I used to do that to. I felt a lost ball was penalty enough. The longer I play golf, the more of a purist I become. I am not sure if that is progress.

  5. 5 barcelo May 28, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    I’ve never considered praying for a lost ball, but I’ll give it a shot. Anything to help subdue the sheer panic I feel evey time I’m looking for one. I end up looking for what feels like hours, too afraid to look back for fear of seeing 10 groups of players waiting at the tee. Then you get the little voice in your head that says ‘just drop another ball without telling anybody, they can’t see you in here anyway.’

    Am I the only one?

  6. 6 Eric Nielson May 29, 2009 at 6:57 am

    No. There are millions of us.

  7. 7 Brian Duffin July 29, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    A late, but perhaps relevant comment to add: Why not pray for an improved golf game? Thus, you will not have need to pray for the location of lost balls–you will not have any lost balls!

  8. 8 Eric Nielson July 29, 2009 at 8:26 pm


    It is written, thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

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