Archive for the 'Goofiness' Category



Um, God? It’s Golf Season Again.

Heavenly Father,

Could you please help me find my golf ball?  I know it is around here somewhere.  I’ve looked everywhere, and it is time to either find the ball, or take a penalty stroke and a drop.  Could you PLEASE help me find the ball?

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Continue reading ‘Um, God? It’s Golf Season Again.’

Why I am a Rush Fan

I have done more than just let it slip that I am a Rush fan. In celebration of their new album coming out May 1st, and their summer tour to follow, I thought I might explain this strange admiration I have for a silly rock band.

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A Father’s Lullaby

There have been several baby announcements on the bloggernacle in recent weeks. I congratulate all of these families and wish them the best.

I have had four children of my own, and have spent several late nights, pacing the floor, with a screaming baby. On one of these nights I composed a poem that I have come to call ‘A Father’s Lullaby’. I think it captures much of the feeling of a tender parent during such nights. I hope you enjoy this poem, and that some of you parents might sing it to your lovely infants as you attempt to comfort them. I am pleased to share this with you.

A Father’s Lullaby

by Eric Nielson

Go to sleep,
You little creep!

The End.

I Want a New Blog (Huey Lewis Parody)

He he he.

I may be dating myself a bit here. There was a popular band in the 80s called Huey Lewis and the News. One of their songs was ‘I Want a New Drug’. This song was going through my head the other day and I substituted drug for blog (I need to get a life). I wondered what the other lyrics might be like if changed a bit to address LDS blogs. As it turns out about half the lyrics I left as original – they seemed to apply quite well. They turn out to be a anti extremist approach. What do you think of the hypothetical blog that is described here? Does an LDS blog like this exist? Any recommendations? Hopefully Small and Simple and Blogger of Jared match this somewhat. What do you think?

Continue reading ‘I Want a New Blog (Huey Lewis Parody)’

Bloggin’ Man (A Rush Parody)

The following are modified lyrics to “Workin’ Man” by Rush. I have been using my lyrics whenever I listen to this song or when it goes through my head. It says a bit about what I feel about blogging sometimes.

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Dead Animal, Belly Up

The vacations of my youth usually consisted of a long ride in a crowded car to destinations that were not exactly glamorous. And spending long hot days in a VW van with black vinyl seats with not much to distract the mind had the effect of driving everyone insane. One particular vacation had us in Butte Montana with the tourist attraction of a copper mine as the goal. I’m not kidding.

The level of insanity was such that for fun we decided to pronounce Butte Montana like Butt Motna. And continue to pronounce the fine city that way to this day. This is what we did on long trips without DVD players in the car.

Continue reading ‘Dead Animal, Belly Up’

What’s in a Nickname?

I have always had a kind of fondness for nicknames. To me they often seem like a term of endearment, and if you are a fun and socially accepted person, I figure you probably have had some kind of nickname at some point in your life. Most of my life has been spent without a nickname. Just plain old Eric.
My sisters would call me Erk once in a while (pronounced like and synonimous with irk). This was a little less than endearing however. When I was in the band I picked up the nickname of OOOOOT. This is a bit of a long and stupid story, so I will spare you of it. But a Tenor Saxaphone player in a Jazz band almost has to have some nickname.

Continue reading ‘What’s in a Nickname?’


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